Songs
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
I wrote this song for my mother who passed away at age 56 and my grandmother who passed away a few years after my mother. To let them know they will be always in my heart.
The chair sits empty by the fire glow
Her laughter echoes where shadows grow
I reach for words but they don't come
Just silence now where love was sung
Chorus
But she's always in my heart
A light that won't depart
Through the quiet
Through the pain
Her love falls like gentle rain
She's always in my heart
Her hands once mended what time would fray
Now I chase her warmth in yesterday
The stars don't shine quite as bright
But I see her face in their light
I close my eyes and she's near
Whispered memories I still hear
Chorus
Cause she's always in my heart
A light that won't depart
Through the quiet
Through the pain
Her love falls like gentle rain
She's always in my heart
A broken clock still ticks in time
Each beat a memory
A sign
She taught me strength
She taught me grace
I find her now in every space
I close my eyes and she's near
Whispered memories I still hear
Chorus
Cause she's always in my heart
A light that won't depart
Through the quiet
Through the pain
Her love falls like gentle rain
She's always in my heart
A light that won't depart
Through the quiet
Through the pain
Her love falls like gentle rain
She's always in my heart
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
A song about how life has been better since I met my partner who has been standing by my side through all the good times and through all the difficult times I've had to face.
Life is beautiful with you
Every shade
Every hue
Like a sunrise breaking through
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Dreams are brighter when you’re near
Every laugh
Every tear
Like the stars when skies are clear
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Love is endless here with you
Every dawn
Feels brand new
Like the ocean, deep and true
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Days are golden when your near
Every sound
Crystal clear
Like a melody I hear
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Life is beautiful with you
Every shade
Every hue
Like a sunrise breaking through
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Life is beautiful
Beautiful with you
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
One of my personal challenges is that of worrying too much about the future and seeing potential problems. It’s held me back from taking steps and missing out on events I later regretted. The song reminds me not to let negative thoughts overshadow the possibilities ahead.
Sunrise creeping on the window pane
Another day another ache another strain
Got my tea earl grey and hot ready for the fight
Against the monsters that appear in fading light
Something’s lurking just beyond my sight
Twisting dancing taking hold so tight
Chorus
Fighting shadows in the early morning dew
Chasing phantoms nothing really new
Swinging wildly at the empty air
Tell me what exactly do I fight for there
Fighting shadows
I see the enemy a flicker on the wall
Building up my defenses ready for the fall
Screaming at the wind blaming every breeze
Never looking closer never putting me at ease
Something’s hiding deep inside my head
Words unuttered things I left unsaid
Chorus
Fighting shadows in the early morning dew
Chasing phantoms nothing really new
Swinging wildly at the empty air
Tell me what exactly do I fight for there
Fighting shadows
My armor cracks beneath the weight I bear
Another war with nothing really there
Chasing after shapes that twist and fade
Wondering why I fear what my own mind made
A restless feeling pulls me from within
A war I never meant for to begin
Chorus
Fighting shadows in the early morning dew
Chasing phantoms nothing really new
Swinging wildly at the empty air
Tell me what exactly do I fight for there
Fighting shadows
Fighting shadows with myself
Fighting shadows with myself
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
The emotions and thoughts I had when I returned to my childhood village, where I spent my formative years until I was seventeen, and where I hadn’t returned for over twenty years.
The train runs fast through the towns tonight
The moon’s a lantern soft and white
I count the stars, I count my fears
Will they know me after all these years
Chorus
I’m going home
Where the river runs slow
Where the past still whispers
Where the corn crops grow
Will they see me
Will they know
I’m not the same
But I’m going home
The streets I knew, are they the same
And will I still recall their names
Does the large tree still stand in the square
Where we once played games like truth or dare
Chorus
I’m going home
Where the river runs slow
Where the past still whispers
Where the oak trees grow
Will they see me
Will they know
I’m not the same
But I’m going home
The houses stand but their tones have changed
Once vibrant walls now dull and stained
I hear the echoes of children’s cries
But I’m a stranger in my own eyes
Chorus
I’m going home
Where the river runs slow
Where the past still whispers
Where the wildflowers grow
Will they see me
Will they know
I’m not the same
But I’m going home
New voices fill the homes where I stayed
Strangers’ laughter rings where I once played
My old brick school still looks the same
But no one there remembers my name
And if the wind carries my name
Will it sound like pride or will it sound like shame
I’ve built my walls, I’ve fought my fights
But will they care and will I be alright
Chorus
I’m going home
Where the rivers runs slow
Where the past still whispers
Where the meadows grow
Will they see me
Will they know
I’m not the same
But I’m going home
Chorus
I’m going home
Where the rivers runs slow
Where the past still whispers
Where the beech trees grow
Will they see me
Will they know
I’m not the same
But I’m going home
Going home
Going home where I was born
Going home
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
This song is about my journey from feeling ashamed of my interests, which include comic books, superhero movies, fantasy, science fiction, computers, and games, to embracing them and not caring what others think. I’m no longer hiding that I’m a Nerd.
I used to hide the stories that I loved
Superheroes, dragons, mages
starships from above
I kept them quiet, stacked away inside
I wore the mask they wanted me to be
While something real stayed hidden deep in me
I reached for worlds beyond my own
In books and games I called my home
But something kept on knocking late at night
Pages turning, sparks of colored light
Dice rolling soft in the dark
Calling my heart
I’m a nerd, and I’m done pretending I’m not
I love heroes jumping from the panels of a comic shot
Stars that burn in stories most folks forgot
And I love glowing screens
Impossible dreams
Call it weird, but it’s all that I’ve got
I tried to chase the things they said were cool
But those roads felt narrow
boxed in by the rules
Mine kept stretching out beyond the town
Page by page, frame by frame
I was finding my ground
Every board game felt like choosing a side
Every comic hero said I didn’t need to hide
And it hit me clear as a midnight sign
I wasn’t built to fall in line
I was meant to light it up
Every time
I’m a nerd, and I’m done pretending I’m not
I love heroes jumping from the panels of a comic shot
Stars that burn in stories most folks forgot
I love glowing screens
And impossible dreams
Call it weird, but it’s all that I’ve got
I’m a nerd, and I’m done pretending I’m not
I love heroes jumping from the panels of a comic shot
Stars that burn in stories most folks forgot
I love glowing screens
And impossible dreams
Call it weird, but it’s all that I’ve got
So here’s to late nights, screen light glow
To dog-eared pages, stories I know
To gaming worlds and dice roll fate
To learning it’s never too late
All the things I tried to outrun
Are the reasons I’ve become
Who I am
I’m a nerd and I’m done pretending I’m not
I love heroes jumping from the panels of a comic shot
Stars that burn in stories most folks forgot
I love glowing screens
And impossible dreams
Call it weird, but it’s all that I’ve got
I’m a nerd and I’m done pretending I’m not
I love heroes jumping from the panels of a comic shot
Stars that burn in stories most folks forgot
I love glowing screens
And impossible dreams
Call it weird, but it’s all that I’ve got
I’m a nerd and I’m done pretending I’m not
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
Dealing with constant pain every day can be tough. For years, I tried to fight it, which only made it worse. But with the help of others, I’ve learned to live in the moment and let go of things I can’t change. This has made living with chronic pain a bit easier, though I’d still be happy if the pain would disappear one day.
You’re with me every day
From the first light till the dark
Even when I slip into silence
You’re still leaving your mark
Chorus
Pain, my constant companion
I wish you left me alone
But I’ve learned to live beside you
Let you come and let you be
In the hope you’ll ease your hold on me
You came without a sound
And you stayed far too long
You’re with me in the smallest things
Like a quiet weight I carry on
I fought you hard, in the past
But it only fed the flame
Now I’ve learned to soften your voice
Just to make it through the day
Chorus
Pain, my constant companion
I wish you left me alone
But I’ve learned to live beside you
Let you come and let you be
In the hope you’ll ease your hold on me
You’ve taken pieces of my life
But you don’t decide my way
I have to carry you with me
Still I choose myself each day
Chorus
Pain, my constant companion
I wish you left me alone
But I’ve learned to live beside you
Let you come and let you be
In the hope you’ll ease your hold on me
Pain, my constant companion
If you ever choose to leave
I’ll welcome your goodbye
But until that day, I’m holding on
With you here
At my side
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
Growing up as a nerdy shy teenager, I endured some bullying during high school. This was compounded by the emotional turmoil of discovering my sexual orientation, making it more difficult to connect with other students, especially during the first few years.
I was a ghost in my high school halls
Head always down and pressed against the walls
Their laughter sharp like glass
Each word a cut a lash
Making me so small
Chorus
I was chasing shadows
Running blind,
Trying to be someone they'd never find,
But now I stand,
No need to hide,
The one I lost was me inside
My eyes told truths I didn't want to see
The mask I wore was never really me
My heart lit up like fire
For those I did admire
Things that just couldn't be
Chorus
I was chasing shadows
Running blind,
Trying to be someone they'd never find,
But now I stand,
No need to hide,
The one I lost was me inside
They called me names that made me small
Like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit at all
A hidden flame began to burn
Which made my whole world turn
Till something broke my wall
Chorus
I was chasing shadows
Running blind,
Trying to be someone they'd never find,
But now I stand,
No need to hide,
The one I lost was me inside
I was chasing shadows
Running blind,
Trying to be someone they'd never find,
But now I stand,
You don’t need to hide,
The one I lost was me inside
I was chasing shadows
Running blind,
Trying to be someone they'd never find,
But now I stand,
No need to hide,
The one I lost was me inside
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
A reminder for everyone that you shouldn't listen to all the nay sayers and people who tell you that you cannot do something. Seize your moment instead.
You've been holding all the pieces tight
Watching chances pass you by
You've heard all the reasons they gave
Telling you the moment wasn't right
Now the scene is changing around you
Let your doubts drift away
Every step has led you here
It's your turn — the moment's here
This is your day, every step led you here
This is your time, let it silence the fear
All of the doubt finally falling away
Stand in the light — this is your day
You don't need their permission at all
You've been stronger than you knew
All the weight you bore in the past
Turned into strength you can use
Now the world is opening up to you
Let your doubts fall away
Every step has led you here
It's your turn — the moment's here
This is your day, every step led you here
This is your time, let it silence the fear
All of the doubt finally falling away
Stand in the light — this is your day
You were never standing still
Even though the road was long
Now there's nothing left to prove
You are right where you belong
This is your day, every step led you here
This is your time, let it silence the fear
All of the doubt finally falling away
Stand in the light — this is your day
This is your day, every step led you here
This is your time, you have no fear
All of the doubt has fallen away
Stand in the light — this is your day
This is your day
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
On the day of my 54th birthday, I realised that I was only two years away from the age at which my mother died from lung cancer. It hit me how young she actually was when she passed away.
I turned fifty-four today
The house was quiet, calm
I found myself counting years
From where you left them on
You had two years more than this
When everything fell through
I just stood there,
With my thoughts on you
Chorus
And the days keep moving on
As days are bound to do
I see it clearer now
How young that age was for you
That number follows close behind
Like footsteps on the floor
You only had
Two years more
There’s a child here you never met
With laughter in his eyes
Every day still feels like play
Every truth a small surprise
He looks so much like his father
It stops me where I stand
You would have loved him fiercely
In ways he’d understand
Chorus
And the days keep moving on
As days are bound to do
I see it clearer now
How young that age was for you
That number follows close behind
Like footsteps on the floor
You only had
Two years more
His father carries on unchanged
As though time will always wait
Even with your story
Written clearly in his face
I wonder how long before
I’m the one who has to say
Why some fathers don’t stay long
Why some just fade away
I don’t want another lesson
Learned when it’s too late
I don’t want your life to be
A pattern we repeat
If love could break a habit
If truth could make a stand
I’d place them both before him
And hope he’d understand
Chorus
And the days keep moving on
As days are bound to do
I see it clearer now
How young that age was for you
That distance closes quietly
Like a slowly closing door
You only had
Two years more
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
This song is about my admiration of how strong mankind can be. From the whole of mankind through the ages, to communities who, after having faced tough times such as a war, are able to rebuild, to individuals who are capable of overcoming personal hardship.
The smoke has cleared the skies are wide
Broken bricks where dreams collide
Streets once loud now softly hum
A ghost town waiting for the sun
Chorus
The war is over
The silence speaks
We're building hope from shattered peaks
The war is over
Our hearts still beat
Through the rubble
We find our feet
A child draws on a crumbled wall
Stick figures standing ten feet tall
A laugh escapes
It breaks the air
Life returns
It doesn’t care
Ashes fall
But seeds will grow
From the cracks
The flowers know
Chorus
The war is over
The silence speaks
We're building hope from shattered peaks
The war is over
Our hearts still beat
Through the rubble
We find our feet
Windows boarded
Curtains torn
But the sun keeps rising every morn
Whispers turn to songs that swell
We’ll rise again
We always tell
Chorus
The war is over
The silence speaks
We're building hope from shattered peaks
The war is over
Our hearts still beat
Through the rubble
We find our feet
We'll rise again
We'll rise again
We'll rise again
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
I composed this song during a challenging period for my partner. He was overworked, sleep-deprived, and hardly ate. Despite this, he was assigned more tasks, and his colleagues gave conflicting instructions, unaware of the toll it took on him. I wrote this song in just 25 minutes after another sleepless night, leaving me feeling powerless.
You were up again at 2AM
Didn’t go back to sleep
I see that you hardly eat
That there’s no spark of joy
But still you struggle through
This worries me so much
Chorus
I see how you struggle
I see how you hurt
I see that they ask too much
But how can I help?
What can I do?
I wish I could tell them
Wish they would know
That they ask too much
That they should listen
to what you have to say
But that is not my place
I’m so afraid for you
That one day you will break
Is that what they want?
Even though it would hurt them too
I hope they will see
Before it is too late
Chorus
I see how you struggle
I see how you hurt
I see that they ask too much
But how can I help?
What can I do?
I listen to your problems
Give you some advice
That is all I can do
I hope my love will,
help you through this all
But will that be enough?
Chorus
I see how you struggle
I see how you hurt
I see that they ask too much
I see how you struggle
I see how you hurt
I see that they ask too much
But how can I help?
What can I do?
I just hope my love will
help you through it all
Music and Lyrics by Mark van Setten
For years, I balanced my PhD research with a job at an institute. I yearned for more exciting projects without the stress of my thesis. However, a few months after completing my PhD, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. A year later, I injured my back, and I now live with chronic pain, which has profoundly affected my life. This song captures this period and my journey of acceptance.
I worked hard towards my goal
Gave more than I was asked to give
I held my focus, held my ground
Believing that my time would come
Then the end came slowly into view
Each sacrifice made sense back then
As I saw the shape of what was built
A life I thought was taking form
Then the day arrived and my new life started
Then something shifted deep in me
A quiet fault I couldn't see
That took the ground from under me
Something in my body failed
And pulled the future from my hands
When dreams fell apart before my eyes
When every instinct said give up
I found a way to start again
To build new dreams from what was left
I reach for things I used to do
But feel my body hesitate
The skills I trained for slip away
While life keeps moving without me
My body fails me every day
And pulls me back when I try to move on
When dreams fell apart before my eyes
When every instinct said give up
I found a way to start again
To build new dreams from what was left
I stop fighting what I can't control
And let the pieces fall in place
Life is more than a single hand
I play the cards that still remain
When dreams fell apart before my eyes
When every instinct said give up
I found a way to start again
To build new dreams from what was left
When dreams fell apart before my eyes
I chose to rise instead of bend
I found my strength in what remains
And learned to live with what was left
I take today the way it is
And let tomorrow wait its turn